Eating Outdoors

I stepped in melted ice cream on the street the other day. Melted ice cream is a given come the hot weather when kids and adults alike enjoy the cool treat outside. Come summer when people picnic and barbecue walking becomes a perilous sport. It’s best to put down your phone and pay attention to where you step before you step in something you shouldn’t. Ketchup from a packet squirts pretty far when stepped on… take it from one who knows.

When it’s hot people go from eating while driving to eating while walking. Oh, you’ll still get the person who eats in their car, like the guy in his car who I saw eat French fries and then wipe his hands on his shirt. Classy. And there’s the lady who leaves you in disbelief because she’s holding an ice cream cup in one hand, shoveling the spoon into her mouth with the other hand, while trying to make a turn. You wonder about certain people.

Peach day is a big celebration at our local farmer’s market. People walk around eating peaches and a variety of fruit. After sampling the peaches my husband and I sat on a bench to eat a funnel cake heaped with confectioner’s sugar. No matter how you eat it, a funnel cake is messy. If you’re eating it on a windy day it’s best not to wear black. Take it from one who knows. Specks of powdered sugar dotting the bench were our calling card. A bird flew overhead while we ate and dropped a present. His calling card was covered in confectioner’s sugar. The people who eat in their cars never have such problems. I think they know better.

At the Beach

Sitting on the beach, catching some rays and listening to the peaceful, rhythmic, sound of the waves as they lapped against the shore, she watched people come and go. She saw joggers out for their morning run. She saw old married couples walking hand in hand. She saw children building a sand castle.

However, she couldn't help but watch the two people in the water. A father and daughter in the ocean on a beach filled with people, and yet, you would think the two of them were on their own island. They were oblivious to all others; they were wrapped up in their own world and having fun.

The father held the little girl in his arms, while venturing out into the water. The little girl had her arms wrapped around her father's neck. Anytime a wave came and crashed against their bodies, almost causing them to topple over, the girl would laugh hysterically and squeeze her arms just a little tighter around her father's neck. The force of the waves was powerful, but the strength of being held in her father's arms, arms filled with love, were more powerful. Those arms would not let the little girl fall, she was safe.

Suddenly, watching the father and daughter, she was in another place and time. She was with her own father on vacation at the beach more than 30 years ago. The vacation spot was Atlantic City, N.J. The days always started out the same by waking up early. Waking up early on vacation meant a day filled with activities and fun. Waking up early at home meant a school day! She loved early morning vacation days. You could wake up early to bicycle ride on the boardwalk in Atlantic City. Or ride alone or ride a bicycle built for two. She wanted to ride from one end of the boardwalk to the other. But as always, time ran out before the boardwalk did.
 

Next, it was onto the beach. Time at the beach was spent soaking up the sun, looking for seashells and always, winding up in the water. Much like the little girl who held onto her father for safety, so did she. Holding hands, together, they would brave the waves. She remembered watching as a big wave approached and wondering who would win out, the wave or her father. The wave would come rushing towards them, using all its force to knockdown and drag her back out with it. Only, it never happened, she held on tight to her father. He won and she was safe.

 

There were times her father would swim alone and challenge the ocean. It was at these times, instead of waiting for the waves to come to him, he would swim into them. The harder and faster the wave approached, the quicker he would swim. Every time the two met, it seemed as though the wave was the victor as it swallowed him up. She could still hear her mother, calling out her father's name and waiting for him to reappear in the water. A minute or two would pass, and his head would pop up. He would wave to signal he was safe. Eventually, regrettably, he would come out of the water, just the way the little girl was doing now.

Seeing the little girl emerge from the water instantly brought the lady back to present day. The girl walked straight up to the lady watching her and said, "Hi mommy." I looked at my daughter and said, "Hi" back. I didn't ask if she had a good time. From the smile on her face, I knew she did. My daughter never met her grandfather. Yet, I am certain that as sure as my husband's arms were around her, holding her up and keeping her safe, so were her grandfather's.
 

But, oh, what wouldn't I give to see him wave to me from the ocean one more time.

 

An Affair - Physical or Emotional

What constitutes an affair? Sex? Emotions? Which is worse – an affair with just sex or an affair with emotions involved? I think most women would choose the emotional affair. When you know your spouse has given their heart to someone else, you know you’ve lost them.

The writer of the advice column in my local newspaper wrote, ‘some people mistakenly believe if there’s no sex, there’s no affair. But giving your heart, emotions and innermost thoughts to someone other than your spouse is cheating.’

When you give your heart to someone there’s love. When you lust after someone there’s raging hormones. Love and lust are two separate things. You can lust after someone other than your spouse. It’s love that’ll keep you from breaking your wedding vows. It’s love that holds you to your word of honor.  Besides, you know if you got caught you’d be toast. How many of you would cheat if you knew you wouldn’t get caught?             

The day of a friend’s wedding she asked me as I applied her makeup, “What if I marry him and then meet Mr. Right?” Excuse me?! She was getting married in an hour! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! Her soon-to-be husband should be Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now. I suspected love and lust for her would go hand-in-hand and her Mr. Right Now would become Mr. Goodbye.

As a married person you learn loyalty means many things. It means your spouse eats your homemade cake rather than his mother’s (which they like better.) Loyalty means nodding in agreement at whatever your spouse says in public and waiting to yell and disagree later, in private. How could they have said such a crazy thing?

 According to my local grocery store’s slogan – ‘loyalty deserves a pat on the back.’ So, tonight in bed, rather than giving my husband a kiss, I’ll give him a pat on the back. It’s what every loyal spouse wants.

Tell Me How You Feel

Pet Pace, a smart dog collar monitors how a dog feels, its vitals and daily activity. Just look at any dog dressed in a ridiculous holiday outfit their owner put them in and you don’t need a smart collar to tell you they’re not happy; their angry and sad. Yet, every year their owner dresses them like a doll for the holiday photo.

On the heels of this British Airways has introduced the ‘happiness blanket’ which tracks how flyers feel. This ‘high-tech’ blanket changes colour to depict passenger’s emotions during flight by measuring brain waves.  When the flyer’s calm and relaxed, the blanket’s blue. If the flyer’s anxious or stressed, the blanket’s red. The airline hopes that monitoring a person’s sleep and relaxation patterns will help change and improve the in-flight experience, providing input about the type and timing of meals, in-flight entertainment and even cabin lighting.

This modern day, highly visible mood ring maybe helpful to the staff, alerting them to passengers who need attention. But if one passenger’s blanket is red it’s just a warning to other passengers – ‘angry flyer in aisle 2 – stay away!’ Sometimes the color of a person’s blanket will have nothing to do with the plane itself; they may just be a nervous flyer.

A nervous flyer’s anxiety can reach its peak before they even board the plane…at security. Anxiety rises when they’re in line behind a stubborn toddler who just learned to tie his shoes and wants to show everyone. Oh, why didn’t his mother buy loafers? Anxiety rises when the TSA tells him they’re studying to become a proctologist and snaps the rubber glove - a little too enthusiastically. Anxiety rises when some blockhead jumps security to give his girlfriend one last kiss, closing down the airport.

I think what we really need is a smart collar for husbands. It would be great to have a collar that tracks your spouse’s mood so you won’t have to. There will be no more guessing if he’s telling the truth or just saying he’s happy to get you to shut up, leave him alone and quit asking, “What’s wrong,” when he’s quiet. Now that’s a brilliant idea.

                                                                                    

                                                                                  

 

 

Donations Accepted

Some girls plan their dream wedding at the age of twelve – they know what they want… all they need is the man and a dress. Sometimes that dream wedding may come at a price beyond their means. To have that dream wedding, no matter the cost, today’s brides-to-be have started a new trend called ‘Crowdfunding.’

Good Morning America reported that brides-to-be who can’t pay for their wedding are turning to family, friends and even strangers for donations – ‘Crowdfunding.’

Guaranteed if Aunt Sally makes a monetary donation there will be strings attached and she’ll demand certain things. If she covers the cost of flowers, she’ll demand black roses instead of the lilies you want. If Uncle Fred covers transportation he’ll supply motorcycles for the bridal party and tell you, “Rain on your wedding means good luck.” There was chlorine (lots of it) in Uncle Fred’s gene pool. Your estranged cousin (Uncle Fred’s daughter) donates money just so her son can be ring bearer. You know he’ll ruin the wedding and will swallow the rings before he makes it to the altar and your cousin’s counting on it. But, you accept the donation because you need that last $1,000.                                                

If a bride-to-be accepts donations from big businesses, don’t be surprised if her wedding gown is covered in advertisements rather than pearls.

If you have a destination wedding the cost escalates for your guests. It was reported that the average cost for being a bridesmaid today is $1,700. That’s a lot! People want to share in your special day – they just don’t want it to be a financial hardship. If you find yourself breaking the bank and begging for donations for your dream wedding then you might want to consider ‘plan b’ – ELOPE. Planning the perfect marriage is much more important than planning the perfect wedding day.