The Flying Nanny

An article in USA Today reported that Etihad Airways has come up with a new and unusual amenity: a Flying Nanny. The nanny is available for all travelers on long-haul flights regardless of which class they’re flying on. The Flying Nanny will be dressed in a bright orange apron, making them easy to spot. The nanny is the airlines way of making their passengers journey as relaxing and comfortable as possible. The fact that this service is free makes it very attractive.

Flying Nannies will get training in child psychology and sociology. The nannies will keep children entertained, serve meals and help crewmembers interact with families.

Having a Flying Nanny is like having a modern day Mary Poppins, just switch out the umbrella for a plane. Maybe the modern day nanny will also break out in song. And maybe, like Mary Poppins the Flying Nanny will also have a never ending bag from which she can pull toys to amuse youngsters. Every kid wants a Mary Poppins as opposed to a Nanny McPhee.

Nanny McPhee is like a drill sergeant. There’s no singing. There’s no flying. There’s no spoonful’s of sugar. There’s just a nanny whose middle name is discipline. I doubt she’ll let you connect the warts on her face. She’s the type to throw the kid out the plane window for misbehaving.

Whether you’re Ms. Poppins or Ms. McPhee if you’re holding a crying baby nobody’s gonna want to sit by you. In this situation you’ll need a crash course in dealing with people’s dirty looks and language. You’ll learn to deal with the rude and belligerent people who demand you quiet the baby…you wouldn’t think the parents would complain. You’ll learn Mary Poppins had a whiskey flask at the bottom of her bag which accounted for her enduring happiness. There had to be a valid reason the woman stayed so chipper. Wakeup people. You’ll learn to follow her example.