Makeover Gone Wrong

In New York City at 129 Grand Street is a new store PUCKER which has makeup express bars. For 45 minutes at $50 professional makeup artist make you ‘Glam on the go.’ There’s a makeup menu for you to choose your look. When you’re done, take a selfie at the ‘selfie booth.’ There’s even a lounge for friends and family to wait and relax in.

 It’s comforting to know you can put your trust in someone to make you look your best. But take my advice and be careful who you pick to give you a makeover. If you pick someone who looks like a clown, chances are you’ll look like a clown. Never let the scary looking clown lady come at you with eyeliner. It won’t be pretty.

Besides makeup bars there are also ‘Blow dry bars,’ where you pay someone to blow dry your hair. They don’t cut hair. They don’t dye hair. They just blow hair. You can do this during your lunch hour. You pay someone who has patience, the right tools and finesse to struggle with your hair. I would love if I no longer had to brush, comb, apply conditioner, mouse, gel and spray and when all is said and done – look like a before ad.

In front of the mirror I say a quick prayer and get to work. With blow dryer in one hand and brush in the other, I brush forward. I brush backward. I brush up. I brush down. When it comes out good I want the world to see it. If I had plans to stay in I change them and go out. It doesn’t matter where I go so long as I’m seen. If I’m sick in bed with 104 fever it doesn’t matter – the doctor at the hospital emergency room will see me. If twelve feet of snow blocks my driveway it doesn’t matter – the snow plow driver will see me. On the few days a year I have a good hair day I want everyone to see it.

When I have a bad hair day I’ll stay in and wear a hat. I can’t be seen in public. One time I cried a little and my eyeliner ran, making me look like a clown. That’s what I got for letting scary looking, clown lady give me a makeover. I had bad hair and a bad makeover. It was a scary sight.