With beards and mustaches come grooming etiquette and the
lack thereof. There’s always that one guy with the crumb in his mustache or
beard. You’re fixated on the mustard
covered crumb that’s just dangling and holding on for dear life. Crumbs will
always have a home with the man who doesn’t groom. Why, when Christmas is over
Santa keeps his elves on fulltime just to groom his beard.
What happens to the man who gets
implants and years later gets tired of his beard and wants it gone? He can’t
shave it. Beard implants, unlike fashion trends cannot be changed or discarded
over time. It’s permanent and permanent becomes history. A man won’t be able to
wax, pluck or laser it away like women do with unwanted hair.
I find it ironic that men would
pay to have facial hair and women pay to have facial hair removed. It’s not
fair. And yet, there’s a billion dollar industry built on women devoted to
having facial hair removed. Since women don’t want a uni-brow we wax and pluck.
We learn beauty is pain the first time we wax. Since we don’t want strangers
picking crumbs from our mustache we wax. Since we don’t want to braid our
armpit hair we wax. Since we don’t want people to think we’re wearing pants
when it’s leg hair, we wax. We all wax. When we enter menopause we’ll wax - more,
except for the bearded lady in the circus, she never waxes. I think has the right idea.
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