Seb Lyall, a London restaurateur,
is opening a clothing optional, pop-up restaurant in London. Lyall said his
dream is “true liberation,” designed with body positivity. Photography is
banned. The cutlery will be edible and patrons have access to a changing room
with locker before they’re seated. The tables are set up for privacy. You can
only see someone’s back or silhouette or their shadows from candles. I guess we
can be thankful there’s no dressing room fluorescent lighting.
When eating in the nude one
doesn’t have to waste time picking out the perfect outfit. I’m such a slob when
I eat that I can’t imagine eating without clothes, a bib, drop cloth or napkin.
Although in this restaurant I wouldn’t place my napkin on my lap. If you’re
dining with your husband and spill ketchup or mustard on yourself, instead of
him offering his napkin, he’ll offer to ‘be
your napkin’ and personally wipe you
clean, taking his time. Spilling hot chicken soup with matzo balls can be
painful and embarrassing for a man. He reaches in his lap to pick up a ball
and…Oops, wrong ball.
If this restaurant has a buffet,
certain risks are posed to diners. Imagine a buxom woman, hanging low, reaching
for the salad dressing. She’ll wind up with dressing on her salad and her
bosom.
Even though the restaurant is
designed to ensure diners privacy and prevent gawking, I guarantee when one
walks to the restroom there will be gawking. And, depending on the shape you’re
in, you will either run or strut to the restroom.
I would advise men against taking
a woman to this restaurant for a first date. When she sees her date, naked, she
may swallow her drink along with her bitter disappointment. The man is puzzled
when she declines a second date. On second thought, maybe dining in the nude is
a great idea. One sees everything they need in order to make a clear decision.
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