Know When To Go

The app RunPee.com (99cents) lets you know the best time to go to the bathroom at the movies. When the movie starts click the app and your phone will vibrate during predetermined slow spots, alerting you to restroom opportunities. While in the bathroom the app fills you in on what you’re missing. When you return to your seat you no longer have to ask your date what you missed and annoy those around you with your talking.

This is a great app for those who buy the 5 gallon soda jug; but if you didn’t drink 5 gallons you wouldn’t need the app. You can sit through the movie after drinking 5 gallons, but the question is – would you enjoy it when your mind is in the toilet?

This app can be a blessing for the mom with three kids because she knows one or all her kids will need to use bathroom at some point during the movie, now she’ll know the best time. Only with four kids by the time she returns to her seat she would have missed not only the slow parts, but also the best parts of the movie.                             

With this app you’ll get the person who doesn’t have to go to the bathroom, but will obey their apps command, the way they obeyed their mother when told, “Go before we leave the house.” They listen. They’re conditioned. This person will step on your feet and block the screen while crawling over you.

 When we watch movies from home we can hit the pause button when we have to pee. But, I’ve found that everybody’s time frame for how long a pause should be is different. There’s the quick pause for pee breaks. There’s the longer pause for bathroom breaks that include #’s 1 and 2. There’s the necessary pause to replenish dwindling snack supply. And there’s the eternity pause for checking e-mail, reading a book, taking a walk, watching a different movie and giving birth. One time it took us three days to watch a movie. 

With RunPee I fear people’s internal ‘pause’ will get longer and so will bathroom breaks. In the bathroom stall they’ll text a friend who is home and hits pause on the movie they’re watching because they want to see the movie they rented. I fear every woman in the theater will have RunPee. Imagine 100 women (with kids) charging to the bathroom all at once. Imagine the mayhem. Imagine the horror. Now, that’s a horror movie not to be missed.