USA Today listed some weird state tax laws. The one that got
me was the New York tax which
imposes an 8-cent tax to all “altered” bagels, whether it’s sliced, toasted or
served with butter or cream cheese. It stated that a cut bagel crosses the line
and becomes a prepared food for consumption, which is taxable.
If I ever plan a trip to New York
I’ll be sure to bring along packets of butter and cream cheese. The packet
contents would survive walking around New York
on a cold day with refrigerator temperatures, but I don’t think they’d survive
90 degree temperatures. After hours of sightseeing you stop at the bagel shop
where you order a plain bagel. You whip out your 2 inch knife (which luckily
for you is now allowed on planes) and cut open your bagel. You reach in your
pocket for the butter and cream cheese packets. You go to spread them on the
bagel and out comes soup. Walking around all day in the heat and humidity has
caused your butter and cheese to melt. You decide against ordering a toasted
bagel with cream cheese as your mate ordered one toasted with cream cheese on
one half and butter on the other half, plus lox. You can’t afford such an
extravagance with a mate who’s bleeding you dry.
On our trips to my
grandmother’s my mother and I would stop at the neighborhood bagel factory and
buy some. The smell of freshly baked bagels was enough to have us crazy with
hunger by the time we got to her apartment. Once there we would alter the bagel
and pop one in the toaster. The bagel would pop up only so high as it always
got stuck in the toaster. So, we’d unplug the toaster to avoid electrocution
while we fought to remove it with knives and forks. Bye the time we finally got
the bagel out it was a shell of its former self, shrunken and disfigured. It
was a blob of gluten waiting to attack our digestive system. We covered it in artery clogging cream cheese
and dove into it. Even though we loved it, it would not have seemed right to
place a tax on something so hideous.
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