Going Dutch

Times are a changing.’ In a recent study presented at the American Sociological Associations annual meeting found that 84% of men and 58% of women said men pay for most dating expenses and a lot of women like it this way. If you’re a woman – why wouldn’t you like it? It found people in their 20’s were the most likely to embrace an equal partnership when dating, meaning girls as well as boys will pick up the tab.

The first time I went to lunch with my husband (during college) it was to a fine establishment where the question of the day is, “You want fries with that?” We placed our order and then he searched his wallet and pockets for money. When he came up short, he turned toward me and asked, “Um, you got any money?” Together we had enough money for the burger, no fries. I paid, and despite claims my meal did not make me happy.

If you’re in a serious relationship with plans to marry, then there’s nothing wrong with a woman going Dutch or picking up the tab.

Today, some women are contributing toward their engagement ring. Big mistake. If a woman goes Dutch on the ring it’s not a gift, but rather an investment.

Say a couple buys a ring, gets married and then divorced; if the ring cost $10,000 you can bet the couple will wind up fighting over it in court. Something so beautiful that once signified love and hope now signifies a good chunk of money. No parent ever passes down the ring of a failed marriage to their child and says, “It didn’t work for us, but, hey maybe it will for you. Good luck.”

Marriage is hard enough without going into it with such low expectations. My question is – now that men expect women to contribute to the ring, will they reciprocate and contribute to the wedding? Is this something women should expect?