New York Trip – Day One

We store our bags in the overhead compartment. We secure our seatbelts and turn off electronic devices. We ascend to flying altitude and are told we are free to ‘move about the cabin.’ The words ‘move about the cabin’ are said in jest as the plane we’re flying is equivalent to a tin can with wings. Even if we wanted to moving about the cabin was impossible as the flight attendant was going down the aisle with the beverage cart. There wasn’t additional even room for a small roach. The maximum requirement for ‘moving about’ was one person.

We arrive in New York, go to our hotel, unpack and go to my girlfriend’s room down the hall. We checkout her room and find she has a soap dish and since we don’t, call housekeeping and request one. We’re assured one would be provided. I’m sure one would be in our room upon our return.

The three of us head out to explore. Movement in New York is much like movement on the plane – cramped. We went from the roar of the jet engines to honking horns which is background music in New York. The no honking signs that are posted are ignored as motorists have no time to read them cause they’re too busy blowing their horn.

Waiting to cross a street is like preparing for a marathon. Once the traffic light gives the visual cue to walk, you better walk… and fast. No dawdling. Should you hesitate you will be swept along by the people around you who think fast, talk fast and move fast. New Yorkers have distracted walking down to a science. They’re so busy on their phones that they don’t know or care if a cab comes within two inches of ending their life.

If you think of stopping to tie your shoe – think again. Nobody would have sympathy if you got run over. If you think of picking up the dollar you dropped – think again. Nobody would defend a moron in court. It was only a dollar.

 At the end of the night we walk back to our room. We prepare for bed, washing our face with the soap that has no dish. We decide tomorrow morning to leave a note for the maid requesting a soap dish.

Meet me back here tomorrow and I’ll let you know.

The Joy of Not Cooking

            My husband just got back from a business trip and I’m happy, really I am. While away, he is able to dine at fancy restaurants, eat lobster or filet mignon and have it all paid for. I on the other hand, left behind with our three children will dine on leftovers and fast food. However, since not one meal will be home cooked by me, I think every meal is a “Happy Meal”. With my husband away, I get a vacation from cooking. Now that he returned home, I return to the kitchen for our nightly home cooked meals.

            It was not always this way, when we first got married my culinary skills were very limited. In fact, before we got married, I asked my then future husband two very important questions. The answers to these questions I thought would determine our marital bliss. Question 1 – Do you like lamb chops? Since the only thing I could cook was lamb chops. Question 2 – Do you like leftovers? Reheating a chop would be even easier and faster than cooking it. Having answered both these questions the way I hoped he would – hand in hand, we entered the institution of matrimony.

            However, I did not factor my father-in-law into this equation. My father-in-law threw a wrench into my meals of home cooked lamb chops; leftover lamb chops, and had absolutely no idea. You see, my father-in-law was a butcher and having that father-son bond, he wanted to make sure his son did not starve, so he gave us meat and plenty of it. With trepidation, I accepted our first delivery of meat, enough to feed every tenant in our apartment building; I checked and rechecked – no lamb chops in sight! Now the question I asked myself, which I dreaded – what do I do with all this meat? The answer – one that I dreaded even more – Learn To Cook.

 

 

            So, I began my journey into the world of cooking. Knowing I would need help, I turned to the world of television, which at the time did not have a Food Network. I had a handful of chefs to choose from and I choose one whose name I thought summed up our lives at the time, “The Frugal Gourmet.” I could learn how to cook the cheap way, so I welcomed the Frugal Gourmet into my heart and home thru television. He and I became instant and inseparable friends. Over time, I developed cooking skills and found enjoyment in cooking. With the passage of time I bravely answered the door knowing it was my father-in-law bearing meat rather than pretending I was not home. With the passage of time, I have learned a lamb chop from a pork chop. With time, I learned you can cook with parsley rather than just think of it as a cute little decoration on your plate in restaurants. I learned that out of all kitchen appliances, I love my blender the best as it not only grates and chops, it whips up a mighty fine chocolate shake. Over the years, I have come to embrace the idea of using my creativity to make a meal. Right now I have to go embrace my kitchen again as my husband is home and wants a home cooked meal. I’m happy, really I am.

Separate Bathrooms

I watch the show Love It or List It and the number one reason for renovation it seems if a couple has children is not enough bedrooms. They don’t want their kids sharing a bedroom. If you prevent siblings from sharing a room you might also prevent a strong sibling bond that could form as a result of sharing one.

My brother and I shared a room when we were young. At night when it was ‘lights out’ we would talk in hushed voices so no one would hear us. During the day we would laugh and play, forming a bond thanks to the confines of our room. When we aged and got our own rooms, my brother would still come into my room so we could talk; strengthening the bond. Today, looking back, I realized we were privileged to have made a connection we otherwise might not have.

But, not all siblings share a bedroom and not all share a bathroom. It always got me that the Brady Bunch kids (6) shared one bathroom. The father was an architect. Why couldn’t he design a house with more bathrooms?

For some couples separate closets and bathrooms make a happy marriage. Go ahead and keep your clothes on the closet floor, if I don’t see it, I don’t care. Go ahead keep the toilet seat up, if I don’t see it, I don’t care. Go ahead and keep blobs of toothpaste in the sink, if I don’t see it, I don’t care. I would think separate bathrooms for married couples would be the number one reason for home renovation.

Get Moving

The Institute of Medicine recently recommended schools provide at least 60 minutes of activity and for PE to become a core subject. This makes sense since schools might be the only place some kids will get any physical activity. When we live in the age of ‘snowball throwers’ (Yes, there’s such a thing) you need to plan activity.

I was not the PE enthusiast when in school. Climbing the rope was enough to make my stomach turn. Nobody wanted to climb the rope after Jimmy, who wiped his runny nose with his hands and climbed the rope first. This was pre Purell. Jimmy was the reason Purell was invented.

I spent gymnastics day wishing I was taller, at least 5 feet, 3 inches so that when I attempted to jump over the horse I wouldn’t land on it in a position that had spectators tilting their heads and commenting, “That’s not right.” I would pray the horse was real so it would gallop away before I had a chance to embarrass myself.

Adults as well as children need more exercise. The other day when a stores automatic door didn’t open I was infuriated. I had to exert energy to open it myself. At the mall when the escalator broke and I had to walk the stairs I was infuriated. The last time I couldn’t find the remote and had to get up off the couch to look for it, I was infuriated.

A clear sign you may need more exercise is if the only time you jog is when someone is chasing you down a dark alley. I could of sworn that guy was Jimmy. 

Flossing - A Full time Job

I was trying to break off a piece of dental floss, but it kept coming, so I cut it and ended up with a mile long strand of floss. Looking at it I felt like I was at the dentist. It’s baffling to me that my hygienist uses enough floss for 12 people on my small, little mouth. (My husband debates whether or not my mouth is small.) Who needs that much floss? Last time she used cinnamon flavored and I asked to switch to mint. There’s unflavored and flavored floss and if I’m going to use flavored – it will be mint.

Then poised with the mile long floss wrapped expertly around her fingers she asked, like always, “You floss on a regular basis?” Even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t tell her. She had enough floss to strangle me. I suspect this is why prisoners are not allowed dental floss; which probably leads to very poor prisoner dental hygiene. So, I gave her an enthusiastic, “Yes, I floss after every meal.”

The more important question is – should you floss before or after you brush? Does it matter? Some people floss to loosen the food and then brush it away. Some people brush and then floss. Some people floss, brush and repeat floss. This is a personal choice. I would imagine it would be a snap to remove and clean them.

Everybody has a personal flossing style. Some, like my hygienist, uses a quick in and out method. Some people use a sawing method. They go down to the gum line and begin sawing back and forth, slowly moving up the tooth. Then they wrap the floss around the tooth for optimum effect. Bye the time they’re done, it’s time for their next meal.

Sometimes as you’re flossing your entire meal comes back to say, “Hello.” Sometimes you have enough food for a second meal. Wow. You sure ate a lot of corn, buttered corn. You can still taste the butter as you lick the corn covered floss. Yum. What do you do with the food? Do you spit it out or do you chew it? If you chew it, you’ll have to floss all over again. These are the people who need the mile long strand of floss.  

Pay to Shop

Woman’s Day magazine listed ‘7 things your cell phone salesperson wants you to know.’ One of them was to order your phone online as carrier websites offer exclusive online specials and you’ll save lot of money. Then you can go to a store where a salesperson will assist you set up the phone for free.

I read this on the heels of reading that some stores now charge customers to try on clothes. The reason given is that customers try on clothes, waste the salesperson time and then buy it online cheaper. Two ends of the spectrum here.

Buying clothes online hurts the salesperson working on commission and the brick-and-mortar stores. What’s next? Will car salesmen charge you to look at cars? Will real estate agent charge you to look at houses?

Next time you go shopping and know you’ll be trying on clothes bring a buddy so you don’t have to waste a salesperson’s time. I recently went shopping with my husband and waited outside the dressing room while he tried clothes on. And why aren’t there any chairs outside the men’s dressing room like there is outside the women’s dressing room? Anyway, there was a lady standing next to me, typing away on her blackberry. Anytime her husband (who she knew from his sneakers) emerged from the dressing room, without even looking up she’d give him an automatic, generic, “Looks great, Sweetie.”  She was typing away when she saw the sneakers approach again and started with the usual, “Looks grea…” when I stopped her and said, “I got this one. He’s mine.” Startled, she looked up and said, “Oh, I didn’t realize. I saw the sneakers and assumed he was mine.”  “Perfectly understandable,” I replied. Not only were our husbands wearing the same sneakers, but the same clothes. Men don’t mind if another man’s wearing the same outfit; matter of fact they like it because then they think they look good. When trying on clothes men don’t ask, “Do I look fat in this?” They don’t care. If it fits, they buy it. Men don’t need to try on clothes to feel the material and see how it hugs the butt.  The one thing men care about is price. If online shopping is cheaper, then they should shop online and not waste the salespersons time and more importantly, the wife’s time.

 

Top Shelf

USA Today’s snapshot was – What is your ‘pantry personality’? It had percentages for people who were neat, disorganized, a minimalist or a doomsday prepper. Just like my husband and I have an interfaith marriage, we have a mixed pantry. I’m in the nice and neat percentage and he’s in the doomsday prepper. It’s hard to keep things organized when you live with a prepper. So, basically all I do is organize the masses of stuff he buys. Recently I was kind of happy when pantry supplies started to run low as I could see the shelves. My husband saw empty space, panicked and ran to fill it. Rice-a-Roni was on sale so he bought 12 boxes, for us that’s a year’s supply. Pasta was on sale and even though we didn’t need he bought it because, “It never goes bad.” So, he brings the sh…, I mean supplies home and I organize.
I do try to have some semblance of order in the pantry with tall stuff in back and short stuff up front. Although I’m not a fanatic, I do not alphabetize my spices. I organize the shelves I can reach. I can’t reach the top shelves. I want to know the person who designed ceiling high cabinets, unreachable to the short person, and thought they were a good idea. A short person should be able to reach the top shelf in their own house. They should not have to get a ladder, chair or department style pole to retrieve what they want. We have cabinets above our refrigerator that I have no idea what’s in them. My husband could be hiding money, knives, a small mistress, or my guess Rice-a–Roni.
If grocery stores strategically stock sugary cereals for kids at eye level, why can’t home builders place cabinets at eye level? Because then and only then will I know how many boxes of Rice-a Roni my husband has stored away.