Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Public Humiliation


We’ve all had embarrassing moments. My most recent one was forgetting to brush my teeth before I left the house in the morning and then wondering why everybody I spoke to kept backing away. At least this time people didn’t laugh and point the way my classmates in sixth grade did when my skirt got stuck in my underwear. They all pointed and laughed as I walked to my seat. I guess I should be happy it happened before social media where it would be plastered for the world to see. Social media takes embarrassment to a whole new level.

Sometimes we’re embarrassed not for ourselves, but for others – ‘second hand embarrassment.’ You ever get embarrassed for a comedian dying on stage? You feel bad (squirming in your seat) knowing they know they’re bombing. Silence to a comedian is worse than a tomato in the face.

As part of a couple, if your spouse tells a joke and it falls flat, the embarrassment falls also on you – ‘second hand embarrassment;’ embarrassment by relation.

In a house where the bathroom is off the kitchen the stage is set for embarrassment. Tell me the genius who thought the kitchen/ bathroom combo was a good idea. It’s not. You go to a friend’s house for dinner and halfway through the meal someone dashes to the bathroom. As you’re chewing your steak you’re now being serenaded by moans and groans. You wince when you hear grunting and noises heard only from animals in the wild.  You applaud when you hear the flush, but your glee is short lived as there’s a round two. This round comes with cursing and air freshener being dispensed. Finally, the boxer emerges looking weary, but triumphant. Nobody acknowledges what went on in there. You keep eating and gradually realize you smell more than what’s on your plate. The smells wafting out from the bathroom and mingling with your food have created a rancid, overpowering stench of a cloud. People lose their appetite. Nobody wants to eat steak that smells like that. You gag with every bite. Guest offer excuses and make a hasty retreat. You, the hostess watch people run to their car and think – how many friends did this cost me? Some embarrassing moments come at a high price.

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